The Magical SWITCH

So, I got an email that asked me how I was able to flip the switch in my head to want this for myself. I'm not sure it was ever any 1 particular thing, probably more a culmination of things but I'm gong to try my hardest to answer that openly and honestly.

First, I mentioned the passing of my Grandma. I do believe this was the first flip, but I was 8 months pregnant at the time and couldn't actually begin any lifestyle changes (at least not effectively). I watched her in the last few years of her life and how much my oldest daughter LOVED her. She was such a sweet and wonderful woman but she couldn't MOVE for years. Her quality of life was one that I desperately did not want for myself. I KNEW that with my genetics, if I didn't make MYSELF a priority--that would be me! I would be the kind of Mother that can only sit on the sidelines as well as a grandmother (heaven forbid that day ever comes!:)

I was tired of life passing me by and feeling like I was barely hanging on for the ride. I wanted to be in CONTROL of what happens to me. You know, be the driver instead of the passenger in my OWN LIFE! It's MY LIFE--so then I really started thinking about what makes me happy, really happy!!!! Was I happy being obese??? Of course not! Would I be happy if I knew I was the one in control??? Why, yes I do believe I would be! And didn't I deserve to be happy??? ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another feeling that I had prior to making these changes was "Will my children be embarrassed by my size?" My mother always took care of herself and has NEVER been overweight (but she's had to work very hard for that) and I always had a sense of pride when my friends would tell me how pretty she was or how young she looked. "What will my kids think of me, or worse, what will their friends think of me?" Now, maybe that shouldn't matter--but it did to me. My oldest daughter is now 9 and I thought, I want to be the BEST mother I can be for her AND for ME--and that is not being obese!

Lastly, I prayed! I prayed for help and strength because I knew it wouldn't be easy. So many things that are worth anything are never easy. But, I also knew that if I was supposed to be healthy and live a better life, then the Lord would help me do that if I just asked sincerely and earnestly. I have never stopped praying for help and I truly believe that my Grandma has been a part of that help from beyond the grave because she knows how miserable it is being overweight and she doesn't want that for me. However, I also know that I have been helped by my Heavenly Father and feel His Support constantly in this endeavor. You are NEVER alone!